Well, I took a little time off from this blog due to being thrown off by this whacky thing called love that kinda hit me over the head like a brick :D Sorry, sweet boyfriend, but thats what it was like at first! I seriously considered blogging about the crazy, fearful, exciting, and invigorating journey of falling for someone...and thought better of it due to a promise to myself about not bringing any romances into my very public life. Trusting and embracing someone into my world is kind of like jumping off a cliff and not knowing if there's anything safe to catch me!
I noticed that I used to only let people in "so" far, always protecting my heart.
I'm updating and writing this blog because I don't feel I'm crossing any "privacy" lines by merely "sharing" (eh hem) a piece of the new world I've entered into :D
I think its time to post a question that I don't see discussed often. I'd love your thoughts and comments!!
So we've been dating 2 months: Would I be coming on too strong if I showed my BOYFRIEND the WEDDING INVITES and CUSTOM CAKE I designed?
hehehe, juuuuuust kidding :D
REAL RELATIONSHIP QUESTION:
Where does jealousy END and domineering START? Whats healthy and what crosses the line?! Coming from a past unhealthy relationship I have strong feelings on the topic. I remember being 18 and thinking: "aaahhh, isn't it so cute that I'm NOT "allowed" to have male friends anymore...he must love me so much". uhk!! What was I thinking?!! lol
Post below! Lucky for me I'm in a healthy relationship, but I wasn't always! What are your experiences, whats healthy and NOT SO HEALTHY to you?
About Ms. Wynn
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IMHO Jealousy by definition is not healthy. When a man is showing jealousy what he is really doing is projecting the doubt and insecurities that he feels about himself onto his partner. What he says is "Why are you spending so much time with that other guy?" but what it sounds like is "What if I am not good enough, or smart enough, or rich enough, to be with a woman like you. What if you find someone "better" and then I will be alone again." Sometimes the tighter we hold to someone or something the faster we lose it.
ReplyDeleteIt is okay to feel doubt, and it is okay to feel insecure. But be honest and own it. Their are no "You make me . . .'s " allowed.
Just my 2 cents.
Trust is always da key in the relationships. witout it things will go south. Its good to protect yourself and being prepared in the near future. You 2 been dating for 2 months is great start but dont get too ahead of yourself...For me if a date goes beyond 6 months or more...thats real commitment. I believe you will be ok. keep me posted thought.
ReplyDeleteYour facebook friend,
peni-joe
Chris...love your comments, thank you for that. Penijoe, is it possible that time is merely a perspective? What if we didn't have walls up for 3 months, then didn't wait to allow trust in at 6 months, then slowly but surely opened our hearts at 9 months..and so on. Perhaps if we walked into the relationship trusting our gut FIRST, then being open and AUTHENTIC right off the bat... So much "TIME" would be saved from games, trust issues, questioning this and that.
ReplyDeleteGranted, to walk into a potential relationship with that attitude takes a lot of self love and very few worthiness issues. I recommend more of a "whatever happens will be just perfect for me" mindset. I've attracted more incredible people into the world with that attitude than I can count, but I really had to drop the "what if I'm not enough", "what if they see the real me" unhealthy self talk.
Just a thought...
Jealousy is overt. Controlling is subterfuge. Jealousy is controlled by emotions. Controlling is all about the mind. A man who implements either is not worth of any woman's time or effort. The opposite is also true. Any woman who rages in jealousy or controls through her body or actions is not at all worthy of love. Sounds good? But who among us can say we have not all been guilty of that at one time or another. The reality is, it is those who recognize it themselves who will recognize it in others and move in the opposite direction... quickly.
ReplyDelete